I don’t think that I’ve ever moved so quickly in my life, grabbing hold of his wrist as firmly as I could, pushing his arm away from me with this pointy object protruding out of it……..
he jumped up in his seat when I grabbed his hand, looking at me he said ‘what you doing?’ I, in a loud voice said, ‘WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING??’ to which he replied ‘getting the key to open the gate!’ Ohhh how embarrassing…..but I didn’t want to be there anyway, so I jumped out of the car, rushed round to the drivers side, pulled him out, jumped in and drove off. Julie woke up, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlamps of a car, slurring her words asking what was going on? Go back to sleep Julie, it’s nothing I said……ohhhh my goodness, I was just relieved to be out of this crazy situation with this absolute weirdo.
I was round at my Mum and Dads one day when out of the blue 4 gorgeous girls turned up at my door, it was Julie with 2 of the girls I lived with and one I’d never met before, Jodie (not her real name). To this day she tells me that when we were introduced to each other, that I did a double take, I don’t recall it like that but to be honest, I probably did. Jodi was different to the rest of the girls, she wasn’t caked in make-up and wasn’t into sleeping around.
If you imagine Kylie Minogue, that’s her down to a T, same shape, gorgeous to look at, innocent as the day is blue and above all, she was no push over, she was a real feisty girl! She was a stewardess for a cheap airline but had left as she didn’t like the crap cheap airline and that was how she knew Julie but they were like chalk and cheese. Julie loved drugs, sleeping around and make-up, Jodie liked none of the above. Pure as the driven snow, like an angel from heaven – we were complete opposites, I was like the devil to her but we had a few things in common. We both loved cars and driving and there was another thing we shared in common, which we wouldn’t find out until later on in life.
Now Jodie lived up in the North of England, as did many of the girls and what they’d do is, when they weren’t working, they’d let their rooms out to other flight attendants, to break up the cost. So there were always new girls coming to stay at the house but none of them caught my attention like Jodie. We’d spend a lot of time together, she’d come out clubbing with us and when we weren’t out, we’d stay in and chat, we even used to sleep together, no sex sadly, we’d just spoon. Now I’m telling you from a guys point of view, spooning is one of the hardest things to do with someone you really like – you girls think nothing of it because you see it as a comfort thing, us men just want to push ourselves up against you and try, if we can, to get just that little bit more. Because she was so innocent, my dick would get so hard and I’d have to pull away from her as I knew that if she thought for one moment that I was asfter sex, that would be the end of it – if only she knew….
That was my problem, I didn’t want to take my time in getting to know her properly, I just look at sex as a natural thing and want it there and then, where as Jodie, she had no interest in that, she wanted security and friendship first and then may be, just may be sex. I remember at 20 years old, we were chatting and then she suddenly came out and said to me, if you’re not married by the time you’re 30, we should get together…….what a weird thing to say I always thought, why if you like someone, wouldn’t you want to get with them now? She was always a little bit odd, I think that was why I liked her, she also said I would never be rich until later on in life, again a bit of a weird thing to say.
We were drinking wine one day, Jodi used to love winding me up, so on this particular day I got my glass of wine and tipped it over her head – we’ll I may as well have tried to stick my finger up her ass because the reaction I got, I’m sure would have been the same. She screamed abuse at me and stormed off, one of the other girls went off to try and calm her down but she was having none of it – and to be honest that was the last that she ever stayed at this house. How was I supposed to know that she had frizzy hair and spent ages straightening it…..come on, it’s not that bad but to her it was. Actually, I have learnt my lesson in life with girls and their hair and my advice would be, never touch it, in fact just say how nice it looks OR ELSE!!!!!
So I carried on working as an Estate Agent, I was driving an old VW Beetle again, not the greatest of cars but it was a car. The car was either really cold or really hot, I’m talking uncomfortably hot and after making numerous trips with the girls up to Stringfellows in London, who were always dressed up in small outfits and complaining all the way that the car was either freezing or boiling, decided that it was time to look for another car.
So Julie and I went out one day in her MR2, she used to let me drive it all the time, searching for a new car for me to buy, I had no money but could get credit. For some reason we’d gone via my Mum and Dads house, not sure if it was because I was raiding the kitchen cupboards for food but as we got to the top of the hill, about half a mile away from where they lived, I noticed a VW Golf convertible for sale at the local car garage. Let’s have a look in here I suggested and drove in, parked up and got out.
It was a lovely new, red shiny Golf convertible, just like the one I’d had previously, only much newer. I got into the drivers side, Julie got into the passenger side, smiling like a couple of kids who’d just been given ice cream for the first time. I love it I said to her and she agreed, the keys were in the ignition so we started her up, revved the engine a little and turned the stereo on. After about 2 minutes, I switched her off and went looking for a salesman to show us around and see if we could strike a deal. I walked around, into the showroom, shouted hello a few times but nobody came. I walked back out to the front where the car was parked, sat back in it and waited for someone to come, surely someone heard my calls?
Obviously no one heard my calls, so I had another one of my ‘brainwaves’. I took the spare key to the Golf, off the key ring, popped it into my pocket and headed back to Julies car. Julie had seen me take the key and when we drove off she asked me what was I going to do with it?? I looked at her, smiled and calmly replied ‘teach them a lesson’………..